Hey Bro You’re So Lucky To Have Your Mom Here!

12GRAYMATTER-blog480I would like to start off that I love and adore my family. As a first-generation student I feel indifferent about “helicopter parents” since I personally have experienced the same concept but in a different way. The way in which is different is they hover over anything outside of academics. They never really achieved this level, so all they can hover is over my personal life. I can happily admit that I know zero to nothing about cars or homes since that was never an issue they wanted me to learn. They knew they could handle those things and they wanted me to focus on my academics since they know i was striving in that area. In college I pulled the “Im busy card” nearly every time they tried calling me or wanted to chat about something on facebook. I would say that I controlled the communication between my family once I entered college, I could even say it begun when I entered high school. I knew they could not handle any issue I faced at college, so I devoted my time learning what I needed to get done since they could not help me in any sense.

I hope I opened with a nice visual of what topics are set up for this weeks discussion. Here is what inspired the discussion:

Do we have plenty to talk about today. We have parents, diversity, alcohol, and hazing all mixed up together. I can tell you from a housing professional that this is nothing new, and can easily be the cause for some gray strands of hair. These issues can strike nerves for a few and for others they are remained as taboo terms.

We can begin with alcohol. Yes, this is an issue and there has been no best preferred method in which the university can control the alcohol consumption among students. We have seen disciplinary actions in motion to address alcohol and alternative events to prevent such actions, but students define alcohol as an necessity in which they need to have in order to persist through college. More and more students are coming in unaware of the dangers in which alcohol can cause the human body. We are finding students have moved from drinking and driving since those two have had major effects on their generation, but the amount of alcohol consumed seem harmless too all. Since we can debate about this issue for days, I will tie the college drinking to hazing and Greek life since the articles refer to those topics in which entertain alcohol consumption.

Looking at the Rolling stone article, we how the acclaimed hazing incidents led to alcohol and other missus for participation. In the extremely graphic detailed events at Dartmouth, we are exposed to the “alleged” abuse of students with alcohol as part of “hazing”. As I will not go into to much detail since I would not want to make anything personal, I will lead to the existence of websites like Gordie’s Call. Such saddening sites are in existence  from “alleged” Greek related events, or you never know it could have happened when he joined an intramural team. I am not to say Greek events are always related or frowned upon, but gosh those “pokemon” groups can out drink anyone wearing Greek Letters; but hey its a right of passive full of tradition right?!?!- [please].

It is hard to blame anyone for students actions these days, but parents will demand answers! This is where it would be hard to blame parents for hovering over their students. Yes, I believe there is a point where there is enough, but can you really blame a parent. Okay sure, not “ever fraternity/sorority are the same” spare me I have heard the speech over and over from people associated with Greek letters. The concept I am asking those students plus everyone else is, ” can you blame a parent for wanting to protect their child”? They hear all these horrible stories and become over protected and crushed with fear. As a human, I would love three children myself, and hearing stories you bet your ass I will be involved with each one of their collegiate life’s! I know my academic limitations since student affairs is my profession, but I will hover their personal choices at times.

I feel we see the extreme helicopter parents when reading GOT. Please watch this clip from one of my favorite television shows Portlandia. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLW0MnqH0r8 This is perfect example of taking the parental protection and guidance to the next level. Yes, I will admit I am the first grandson, oldest son, and most successful thus far. I have my family willing to do anything for me if I requested it, but they do not control my life as they think they do and I have made it aware they do not. There comes a point where the student needs to take charge and a point where the family needs to let go.

The text references times where parents are handling issues in which students should be handling these issues for themselves. Tell me why in hell should a parent be arguing with a professor about a grad their student received? It is beyond me how parents are beyond the point of what an appropriate relationships should look like with their adult child. This one quote just irritated me beyond belief: “If I though he could do this on his own, I would have never sent him away to your school and [would have] kept him at home so I could keep doing it for him”! This was in reference when a son was not waking up to attend his classes. 

Today’s generation of students are evolving at a rate parents are just trying to understand., and since they can not they find it easier to control their lives. Again, I find it hard to understand how my peers can allow this or condone this because I do not feel it is 1.) attractive or 2.) desirable to live your life. As a hopeful parent of the future, I will try to be understanding with my students personal life, but you be your ass they will be handling all of their academic affairs appropriately. 

Thank you for my scattered rant.

-dani

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